Forgiveness can be tough…
This week’s question is “How do you forgive someone?”
So, let’s start by defining ‘forgiveness…’
1. The action or process of forgiving.
Ex: She forgave her boss… even though this person didn’t like or respect her… She forgave her boss even though this person didn’t care about her, at all.
Ex: She forgave herself for the mistakes she made.
Once a person forgives someone, they can have compassion for them…
1. Concern for another person’s sufferings; concern for their well being.
I would add, irregardless of whatever’s happened.
And only with forgiveness and honesty ~ can there be compassion.
How do you forgive someone?
- Acknowledge that you’re upset, and you have a right to be upset.
You may never, fully understand ‘why’ you’re upset, but it doesn’t matter!
- Realize that anger is harmful to you ~ emotionally, spiritually,
- Write about it.
- Talk about it.
- Understand that you are responsible for your own wellness…
- Listen with an open heart, if the person is willing to explain…
Know that their higher self wants you to be happy…
- Treat yourself!
Do something good for yourself (and your body!) to compensate
for the pain you’ve experienced.
- Follow your path and trust yourself…
Ask yourself, how can I forgive them, today?
Then live from the question and see what unfolds…
Let go of your anger as if it were attached to a balloon floating up into the sky.
It might be easier if you simply say to yourself that “they were ~ or are susceptible to evil.” Perhaps it was not them, their true soul or spirit, who acted out, etc…
Also, remember that people do not intentionally ‘set out’ to hurt you, in most cases. And even if they do, it’s not about you. It’s about their ego, the situation…their own feelings of desperation, insecurity, or inadequacy.
They are simply doing what they’re doing, in any given moment and whatever they’re doing has nothing to do with YOU; even if it’s an act of violence. People are simply doing what they’re doing…
Let me say it again…
It isn’t personal.
Some people are clueless.
Some people are (unintentional) asshol*s.
What’s it got to do with you?
Forgiveness can be a process!
It can be a process until you finally ~ let go!
Here it is:
Suffering as it relates to forgiveness is caused by an expectation: the expectation of an apology, a kind word, a way of being…
In order to end suffering, as it relates to forgiveness, distinguish the expectation, then extinguish it!
For example: I expect him, or her to say something kind. I expect to feel good.
He/She is not gonna say ‘what you wanna hear,’ or ‘how you wanna hear it,’ most likely and you’re not gonna feel good, as a result of something someone else saying something or doing something…most likely!
In other words, he/she is on their own path at their own pace, and it’s up to you to make yourself feel good, as it’s your responsibility to tend to your emotional, spiritual and psychological wellness.
EXPECT THE WORST
People want to ‘say the right thing and do the right thing,’ generally, but they usually don’t… for a variety of reasons. And people, generally mirror back to you how you feel, anyway…or they disengage automatically, as they probably learned to do in childhood.
People disengage for a variety of reasons: 1) They don’t feel adequate to handle a situation. 2) They are afraid of saying or doing the ‘wrong’ thing. 3) They are checked out…
Ultimately, it’s a mystery.
Also, and it can be difficult…look at it from their perspective. Then, you’ll start to see the truth.
AND it’s o.k. to say, “I’m not o.k., right now” but I’m workin’ on it.
We gotta let ’em off the hook, because they want you to be happy, they really do; even if they’re unconscious of it, so it’s up to you!
You can do it!
“Remember that we are all doing the best we can at the time.”
– Diane Paul
Love them, anyway and continue to forgive…cling to something positive they’ve said or done. 🙂
Read this Article:
Click here: “How to Forgive Someone when it’s hard…”
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Play… The Happy & Successful Game!
If you notice you’re in the moment, you’re present, you’re paying attention to every detail, savoring the moment, you win. You are a success! If you notice you’re not in the moment, you’re not present, you’re not paying attention to every detail, not savoring the moment, you loose.
*Ya gotta do somethin’ to play!
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Articles, books and videos on “peace, healing, being present, expressing yourself, following your dreams, treating yourself, creating your life, enjoying the moment, simplifying your life, getting unstuck, moving forward, having fun, forgiving, pushing yourself, feeling your feelings, following your heart, loving yourself, having a positive body image, laughing, finding flow, being different, possibility, trusting people, grounding yourself, letting go, happiness, finding your calling, creating peace of mind, setting an intention, etc.” Enjoy!
Imagine what could happened if we all focused on the intention this week! The purpose of focusing on an intention, or question is to practice it, so it can be called upon always and forever.
Remember, everyone is on their own path at their own pace, and we all have the same value. Also, while examining the intention and answering the question, make sure you’re not hurting yourself or anyone else.
Please practice yoga safely, and pause or stop when you need to pause or stop. Listen to your body! Also, please consult a doctor before engaging in the practice of yoga. The Yoga Book blog, it’s affiliates, etc. do not take any responsibility for injuries, actions etc. which may occur as a result of doing yoga, focusing on the question/intention, or doing “Today’s Class.” Also, The Yoga Book blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional help. It is simply information based on experience and some research. Remember, you are making your own choices ~ following your own path, your own heart. ‘Tis up to you, what you do, and your sole responsibility. It is also your responsibility please, to seek the professional help you may need in dealing with the issues that may arise in your life.
…And we all need a little help, sometimes 🙂
The Yoga Book
“The idea for The Yoga Book came to me in a yoga class! I saw it clearly in my mind and I needed somewhere to write it down. Also, I had recently met with a Indian medical doctor, who had said “Different styles of yoga effect people differently, so it is important to know which ‘style of yoga’ is right for you.” So, I decided to create a book, where people could journal about their experiences in a yoga class, write about the different postures – how they felt, get inspired, and write about their insights… Sometimes I would come to class with a problem, any problem, and leave with a solution! And when I did, I’d write it down somewhere, so I decided to create The Yoga Book.”
– Creator of The Yoga Book